a constant battle against myself
and you're caught in the middle.
(our relationship plays set to the soundtrack of a chant, repeating over and over,
i told you so i told you so i told you so i told you so i told you so i told you so.
my blood is sluggish in my veins and i feel slow and cow stupid,
shuffling feet, collapsing in upon myself, the foundation has crumbled.)
my love, i am ashamed.
i want to love you unconditionally, you deserve it.
my ghosts refuse to stop their haunting.
you cut too close to the old wounds,
tracing so close to the original paths
that my heart thuds in my throat.
i love you.
and because i love you, i wish for your happiness.
and i don't think your happiness is with me.
you deserve so, so much better.
please find your happiness..